Living with Intention

Most of us spend the first half of life reacting.

We respond to what’s in front of us: education, careers, relationships, raising children, paying bills, and meeting expectations. Life moves quickly, and before you realize it, you’re fifty. You may not even recognize yourself when you finally slow down long enough to pause and reflect.

But something interesting happens for many people in midlife and beyond. The pace shifts just enough that a new opportunity emerges:

Choice.

Suddenly, we have space to think differently about how we want to live the next chapter of our lives. When we reflect on our past, we may long for the person we were when we were young and full of ideas. We may question the person we have become and wonder, Is this it? Are my best years behind me?

The brain does funny things in midlife when we begin to realize we have less time ahead of us than we did when we first began adulting. The average life expectancy is around seventy-nine (shocking, right?), so midlife is the perfect time to take an honest, hard look at life and how we want to live the years we have left. And despite what anyone tells you, you have more control over how well you age than you know. Ageism would have us believe that growing older means frailty and senility. But that is not inevitable. And if you stick with me on this Bold, Not Old journey, you’ll learn that aging is inevitable, but how we age is not.

This is where the power of intention comes in.

What Is Intention?

Intention is the conscious decision about how you want to live, act, and show up in your life.

It is not simply about setting goals or achieving milestones. Goals focus on outcomes. Intention focuses on alignment and living in a way that reflects what matters most to you.

When we live without intention, life tends to run on autopilot. We continue patterns that were created decades earlier. Maybe that’s good news for some people, but for me, it wasn’t. We follow expectations that may no longer fit the person we’ve become because, let’s face it, we are not the same people we were twenty or thirty years ago. Our lifestyle and choices, decade after decade, brought us here. After we reflect and learn from our past, we can begin to design our future.

When we live with intention, something shifts.

We begin to ask better questions:

What truly matters to me now?

What kind of life do I want to create moving forward?

How do I want to spend my time, energy, and attention?

Instead of drifting into the future, we begin to design it.

Intention vs. Goals

Goals are useful. They help us measure progress.

But goals alone often miss something deeper.

For example:

A goal might be:
“I want to exercise three times a week.”

An intention might be:
“I intend to care for my body so I can live with vitality and strength.”

A goal might be:
“I want to grow my social circle.”

An intention might be:
“I intend to cultivate meaningful connections in my life.”

Goals tell us what we want to do.
Intentions remind us who we want to be.

Why Intention Matters More in Midlife

By the time we reach midlife, we carry decades of experiences, successes, disappointments, lessons, and growth. Without intention, it’s easy to keep repeating the same patterns simply because they are familiar. But with intention, we begin to use our life experience as wisdom.

We start asking:

What parts of my life still feel meaningful?

What no longer fits the person I am today?

What do I want more of in the years ahead?

Intention allows us to move from living by default to living by design.

Recently, I reflected on my own health and the impact that years of chronic stress and trauma have had on me. For twenty years, I have struggled with various autoimmune disorders ranging from colitis, psoriatic arthritis, psoriasis, and every other “-itis” imaginable. It may not sound horrible, but it is.

I have been on and off the “hard” drugs like Humira and Xeljanz, and this summer, due to a weakened immune system, I got shingles—despite being vaccinated. It was one of the worst and most painful experiences I have ever had. Nine months later, I still have nerve damage, and the good news is, I can get shingles again. Lucky me.



I was fed up and went off all my medications except hormone replacement therapy. I started looking for answers at the Alliance for Integrative Medicine in Cincinnati. This amazing organization is affiliated with The Christ Hospital. Unlike conventional medicine, which tends to focus on diagnosis and prescription, their team takes a much more comprehensive approach. They focus on why symptoms are showing up in the first place and work to identify the root cause so they can create a personalized plan.

This is what I had been looking for.

What is the root cause of my health issues?

Hundreds of dollars later (because of course insurance doesn’t cover it), and don’t get me started on that—they evaluated every aspect of my health. The final results showed that my health was impeccable. Yea. Great.

But then why am I suffering from autoimmune disease? The doctor asked if I had ever tried hypnotherapy. I hadn’t. When I asked why, she explained that she believed my root cause issues were tied to years of chronic stress: two failed marriages, being raised by an alcoholic mother, an absent father, and then finding my parents after their murder-suicide.

That’s a lot.

You may have your own list of pain and suffering. None of us escapes the bumps and bruises of life. Reflecting on that, I was forced to accept something I had not fully understood before: my body has been in fight-or-flight mode for most of my life. Even now, years later, when I am in a safe and loving relationship, after therapy and so much self-discovery, my body is still on fire.

That realization changed something for me.

I began to set an intention based on what I had learned. I need to heal my body naturally, lovingly, and patiently. Using breath, medication, and prayer. It is not an easy fix, and I know there is no magic wand, but I believe awareness paired with intention can create real change.

Stay tuned for updates.

Now It’s Your Turn: A Simple Way to Begin

Living with intention does not require dramatic life changes. It begins with awareness.

Take a moment to reflect on these questions:

How do I want to feel in this next chapter of life?

What activities bring me energy and meaning?

What relationships deserve more of my attention?

What do I want to contribute to the world?

Your answers begin to reveal your intentions.

From there, your decisions, large and small, can start aligning with the life you want to create.

The Gift of the Second Half

The beauty of aging is that it offers something many of us never had when we were younger:

Perspective.

We begin to see what truly matters. We recognize that time is precious. And we realize that the future is still ours to shape.

Living with intention means embracing that truth. It means deciding consciously and courageously how you want to live the years ahead.

Not by accident.
But by choice.