My Journey to Bold, Not Old™
Reinventing Midlife with Intention and Purpose
Before Bold, Not Old™ was a framework—before it became a workshop, a keynote, or a movement— it was a feeling.
A knowing. A quiet truth that lived in my body long before I had language for it.
It took decades to name.
Growing Up Between Freedom and Survival
I grew up in the 1970s—half child, half survivor—learning early how to stand alone.
The decade itself was lit with possibility. Music poured through basements and open windows. Summer stretched long and unsupervised. We played outside until we were forced indoors, skin sun-warmed, knees scraped, spirits untamed. There were no cell phones—only landlines with cords you stretched down hallways for privacy.
We didn’t know how lucky we were. But we were.
My hair was wild and sun-bleached. Freedom hummed through me like electricity.
Inside my home, life was unpredictable—alcoholism, instability, chaos. Outside, the world felt wide open. If I wanted to go somewhere, I went. I rode my bike. I hopped a bus. For a quarter, I could go anywhere. I babysat. I ran errands. I hustled early. My pockets jingled with change and possibility.
The library became my refuge—cool air, quiet safety, stacks of books carried home like treasure. The movie theater was my sanctuary. Two dollars bought me darkness and escape. Those red velvet seats held me while I dreamed of tenderness, love, and a future that felt gentler than the one I knew. I didn’t have role models. No blueprint. No strong women showing me the way.
But one evening—decades later—scrolling Netflix, I stumbled onto The Mary Tyler Moore Show, a series that quietly shaped a generation of women. And suddenly, I was thirteen again—knees tucked to my chest, heart wide open.
Mary was independent. Confident. Joyful.
Without realizing it, she taught me something essential:
I was going to make it after all.
Midlife Slows the Projector
Fast-forward through decades of surviving.
My twenties—marriage, divorce, and grinding through college while working full time.
My thirties—building a career, navigating complicated family relationships, and finding my way alone. My forties—another divorce and years of trauma finally catching up with me.
They flicker past like a film reel—achievement, responsibility, endurance, resilience layered upon resilience—until the pace finally slows.
And then midlife slowed the projector down. For the first time, I could really see the story behind me:
- the girl who wanted more
- the woman who fought her way forward
- the heart that somehow still held hope
I thought I had built a good life. I thought I had finally “made it.” But when I looked closer… had I?
As women, we are so often the glue—holding families together, managing crises, caring for everyone else while quietly disappearing from our own lives. We keep going. We power through. We adapt.
We rarely pause long enough to ask what we want next.
But here’s what decades as a gerontologist—and a student of the human aging journey—have taught me:
Midlife is not the beginning of the end.
Midlife is the beginning of becoming.
It’s the moment we finally have the wisdom—and the permission—to ask a braver question. Not:
- What do I settle for?
- What do I tolerate?
- What do others expect of me?
But instead... What do I want in my life now that I know who I am.
That question sat heavy on my chest. It followed me to work.
Whispered to me in the shower. Woke me up in the middle of the night.
Stared back at me in the mirror every morning. And eventually… it led me to the attic.
The Attic Moment
I had dreamed of going to Italy for my fiftieth birthday.
But I was still single after my second divorce. Still healing. Still believing—quietly—that maybe there was something more waiting for me.
I refused to go to such a romantic place alone or with friends.
So instead of boarding a plane, on my fiftieth birthday I climbed the steep attic stairs in my old Italianate house in Newport, Kentucky.
That attic—dusty, sunlit, quiet—became my sanctuary.
Barefoot on the old wooden floor, I rolled out my yoga mat and asked myself a question I had avoided for fifty years:
What’s next?
With my hands raised and tears streaming, I declared something I had never said out loud:
I am ready for love.
I am ready to give love.
I am ready to receive love.
And in that moment, something shifted.
I wasn’t asking the world to save me anymore.
I wasn’t waiting to be chosen.
I was choosing my direction.
Because reinvention doesn’t begin with a plan.
It begins with a truth.
One month later, I met Pablo. We’ve now been married seven years.
When Reinvention Knocks Again
At sixty, life knocked again. I was downsized from my dream job after a corporate acquisition—the same week Pablo retired after thirty-three years with the same company.
He was thrilled.
I was not ready.
And there it was again—that familiar question: Now what?
Only this time, I recognized it. I knew this wasn’t loss.
It was an invitation.
An invitation not just for me—but for anyone standing at the edge of what comes next.
And that’s when Bold, Not Old™ was born.
Why Bold, Not Old™ Exists
As an Aging Life Care Manager with more than 35 years in senior care, I rarely meet people when life is calm.
They come in crisis—overwhelmed, exhausted, forced into rushed decisions about health, care, and aging they were never prepared to make.
What I’ve seen—again and again—is this:
Most aging-related crises don’t happen overnight.
They are the result of:
- delayed conversations
- unexamined habits
- and a culture that plans obsessively for retirement money—but rarely for healthspan, resilience, purpose, or connection
We are living longer. But we are not always living better.
Over the years, I’ve been deeply influenced by longevity researchers and thought leaders who are reshaping how we understand aging. The science is clear and increasingly consistent: how well we age is shaped far more by our mindset, behaviors, and daily choices than by our genes alone.
Research shows that beliefs about aging directly influence physical health, cognitive function, recovery from illness, and even longevity itself. Lifestyle factors—movement, nutrition, sleep, social connection, purpose, and stress regulation—play a powerful role in determining not just how long we live, but how well we live. Genetics may load the gun, but environment, mindset, and behavior pull the trigger.
This research affirms what I’ve seen in real life and in my work with older adults for decades: decline is not inevitable. Aging is not passive. And waiting until crisis robs people of choice.
Bold, Not Old™ was born at the intersection of lived experience and longevity science—grounded in the belief that aging well is not accidental. It is intentional.
This is the foundation beneath Bold, Not Old™—a framework built on both science and lived experience.
The Grow Bold, Not Old™ Framework
From my pivotal midlife moments—personal and professional—this framework emerged.
Not as theory. But as lived truth.
The Four Bold Steps
- Reflection – See your truth
- Vision – Imagine what’s possible
- Action – Move with intention
- Accountability – Stay the course
The Six Pillars of Bold Living
- Vitality – supporting physical and cognitive health
- Resilience – emotional flexibility and confidence
- Connection – relationships and belonging
- Purpose – meaning beyond roles
- Lifestyle – environments that support independence
- Legacy – what you leave behind in values and impact
Together, they form a roadmap—not just for longevity, but for living fully, visibly, and on your own terms.
This Is My Invitation to You
The first half of life may shape us. But the second half is ours to create.
You don’t get to choose your childhood. You don’t get to choose the wounds you inherited. But you do get to choose what comes next.
You are not too old.
It is not too late.
You are not done.
Midlife is not the closing of your story—it’s the moment everything opens.
Bold, Not Old™ isn’t about pretending aging doesn’t exist.
It’s about refusing to let fear, silence, or outdated narratives write the rest of your story.
This is a journey—for me and for anyone who feels the quiet nudge that there is more ahead.
More vitality.
More clarity.
More control.
More life still waiting to be lived.
If you’re standing at a crossroad, if you’re asking now what?
If you’re ready to move from surviving to choosing, I invite you to walk this path with me.
Read along. Join a Bold. Not Old™ workshop.
Start a conversation you’ve been postponing.
Reflect on what matters—and take one intentional step forward.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You just have to be willing to begin.
Bold. Not Old™.
And trust—deep in your bones—that you’re going to make it after all.
