How you Live Matters More Than Where You Live

When we think about healthy aging, we usually think about exercise, nutrition, sleep, and maybe even purpose. Rarely do we think about our home. But one of the most important aspects of our lifestyle isn't just where we live—it's how we live.

Our homes quietly influence our habits, our health, our relationships, and our well-being every single day. They tell the story of who we've been, what we value, and who we're becoming.

For me, that story has been written across 32 moves, three states, and more than a few plot twists.

I've lived in Ohio, Kentucky, and—thanks entirely to Pablo—even Missouri.

We met. He put a ring on it. And suddenly I found myself living in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, beginning an unexpected new chapter.

Then came COVID.

For fourteen months we lived in two different states while Pablo rented in Missouri, while I boomeranged back to the infamous Hannaford in Newport, Kentucky. (Thank you again, Tom, for helping me find another fabulous apartment in that historic building.) Hannaford wasn't just another apartment. It was the first place I truly felt at home after my divorce. After ten years in what I affectionately call "duberbia" in Mason, Ohio, I was ready to reclaim a life that actually felt like mine. I left as soon as the housing market would let me.

On April 21, 2021—the day before my birthday—we found what would become our River House in Bellevue, Kentucky.

Finding it wasn't easy. The market was brutal. We searched in Newport, Bellevue, and Covington. We were tired. We wanted to put down roots again after years of uncertainty.

And here's the funny part...

This wasn't the house I thought I wanted.

I had convinced myself that my dream home was a historic house in Newport with exposed brick, a wraparound porch, original woodwork, and enough character to fill an HGTV series.

Instead, we walked into a contemporary home that looked nothing like the picture I'd created in my mind.

But something happened.

It felt right.

It wasn't logical.

It was simply...right.

So we trusted that feeling.

Later we learned that the builder had poured his heart, sweat, and soul into creating this home. It stood proudly among the tiny historic cottages—a bright, modern home in a charming river town.

Over the past several years we've slowly made it ours.

Bold.

Colorful.

Comfortable.

Eclectic.

Filled with books, art, photographs, memories, and spaces that invite conversation and laughter.

It reflects who we are today—not who we were twenty years ago.

And that's what home should do.

Home Is a Lifestyle Choice

One of the biggest lessons I've learned through all those moves is this:

Home isn't simply where you live.

It's part of how you live.

It influences your routines.

Your relationships.

Your health.

Your peace of mind.

The environment you create either supports the life you want—or quietly works against it.

That's why Lifestyle is one of the pillars of the Bold, Not Old™ Blueprint. The way we live each day ultimately shapes the life we create.

A meaningful life isn't built by accident. It's built by intentionally designing the spaces where life happens—and how we spend our days.

Aging in Place the Bold, Not Old™ Way

When you're buying a home in your fifties or sixties, aging in place inevitably enters the conversation—even if you never say the words out loud.

People often assume aging in place means finding a one-story home with no stairs.

I see it differently.

Steps don't mean you can't age in a home.

They simply mean you need to stay strong enough to use them.

That's a very different mindset.

At the same time, we have to be practical. There may come a day when your home no longer supports your needs, and that's okay. Aging wisely means planning for that possibility before it becomes a crisis.

A Bold, Not Old™ lifestyle isn't about avoiding life's challenges.

It's about preparing for them.

Strength.

Balance.

Mobility.

Functional fitness.

These aren't just exercise goals. They're the tools that allow us to keep living where we want, doing what we love, and maintaining our independence. Your home doesn't determine your future. Your habits do.

Our River House has stairs. Lots of stairs.

Will it be our forever home? Maybe not. But right now, it perfectly supports the lifestyle we want.

In fact, just one year after we moved in, Pablo had ankle surgery. Those stairs became a daily challenge for a while—but we managed. More importantly, it reinforced something I believe deeply: our goal isn't to avoid life's obstacles. It's to stay strong enough to navigate them. That experience didn't make me want to move. It made me want to keep prioritizing strength, balance, and mobility.

Of course, I'm already dreaming about the next chapter.

Maybe around age 70, I picture us in a beautiful mid-century ranch with a lap pool, incredible outdoor living space, and plenty of room for friends, family, grilling, and long summer evenings. A home designed for wellness, connection, and entertaining.

And who knows? Maybe our chapter after that is a penthouse condo overlooking the city. One-floor living. Walkability. Restaurants nearby. Concierge services. The convenience of locking the door and traveling whenever we want, with access to additional support if and when we ever need it.

To me, that's what it means to age smart.

It's not about waiting for a crisis to make decisions.

It's about intentionally designing each chapter before you get there. As a gerontologist, I've spent decades helping families navigate aging after a crisis. For my own life, I want something different. I hope to take what many people spend each month on assisted living or skilled nursing care and instead invest those dollars in creating my own long-term care dream—one that prioritizes independence, flexibility, community, and joy for as long as possible.

That's the beauty of planning ahead.

When you age with intention, you create options.

And options create freedom.

After all, a dream doesn't become reality by accident.

It becomes reality because you planned for it.

That's what it means to age smart.

Choosing an Urban Lifestyle

Another intentional decision we made was choosing an urban lifestyle.

We wanted walkability.

We wanted neighborhood restaurants and coffee shops.

We wanted community.

We wanted to walk along the river.

We wanted to Uber to a Reds game, a Bengals game, or a show downtown and still be home and in bed before 11:00.

That's the sweet spot of midlife.

Our house is smaller than some of the homes we've owned.

That was intentional, too.

We've reached a stage where we only want to surround ourselves with things that are useful, meaningful, or joyful.

Less clutter.

Less maintenance.

Less obligation.

More living.

A curated home creates a peaceful mind.

And peace is one of the greatest luxuries we can design into our lives.

Designing a Life Worth Growing Older For

Our homes don't simply house our lives.

They shape them.

The neighborhoods we choose.

The routines we build.

The people we invite in.

The memories we create.

The strength we build to keep enjoying them.

That's lifestyle.

And that's one of the most powerful choices we make as we create a life worth growing older for.

Lifestyle isn't about luxury.

It isn't about square footage.

It isn't about keeping up with anyone else's idea of success.

It's about making intentional choices that support the life you want to live.

Your home is one of those choices.

Ask yourself:

Does my home support the life I'm trying to create?

Does it reflect who I am today?

Does it make healthy choices easier?

Does it invite connection, creativity, and joy?

Does it give me peace?

Because home isn't just where you sleep.

It's where your life unfolds.

:

The Bold, Not Old™ Challenge: Take a fresh look at your home this week.

Not through the eyes of a realtor.

Not through the eyes of Pinterest.

Through the eyes of your future self.

What would make your home healthier?

Calmer?

More functional?

More joyful?

What no longer belongs?

What would you like to add?

Remember...

Every room tells a story.

The question is:

Is your home telling the story of the life you're intentionally creating?

At our River House, we've created a space that reflects our Bold, Not Old™ philosophy: intentional living, functional fitness, community, simplicity, and joy.

It isn't perfect.

But it's perfectly us.

And that's exactly the point.

Create a home that reflects who you are today—not who you used to be.

Because life worth growing older for begins right where you live.