Creep Management

I got divorced for the second time in 2000, and Sex and the City became my guide to navigate being a single woman in her forties. I don’t remember dating much when I was younger (I was too busy trying to survive), but I made up for that in my forties. From an early age, I was boy crazy and I still am. I remember my first crush in the 4th grade. Ricky Cannon was sweet and funny. A combination I’m still a sucker for. I remember holding hands at the movie theater. I was smitten and that’s how it all started. My lifelong journey of a zest for the opposite sex.

I have only been married eight of my fifty-eight years which spans four decades and three different husbands. Fortunately, I am happily married now, but I have 35 years of dating experience so I have an honorary degree in creep management. Most men are great, and I am a lover not a hater. I love everything about men, but there are a few in this species I would categorize as creeps and strongly recommend you avoid or limit your time with them. They will play with your heart and break it. They will disgust, embarrass, and humiliate you. They are not worth the effort or the pain.

Dating is a tricky thing depending on what you want out of it. If you’re young, you may be looking for the “one” and that’s tricky because it’s very easy to deceive the heart and overlook all the red flags and obvious flaws in a man just because you so desperately want to find love. Believe me, I get it. In my thirties, I really thought something was wrong with me. I was too picky, expected too much and was too critical. That’s how I talked myself into marrying #2. This was a huge mistake that nearly destroyed me (Link to past blog) and wasted ten years of my life.

Dating should be fun and it can be if you use the experience wisely. Understand your objectives and be clear about why you are dating. Maybe you are looking for entertainment for the evening and want someone to enjoy a movie, a meal, or an evening in your bed. Yes ladies, that’s perfectly acceptable if you are careful. If you’re looking for something more meaningful or long-term you need to carefully consider each option and don’t let creeps interfere with your dreams.
Please trust me, people don’t change and you deserve better than to settle. If you marry a toad he will not transform into a prince. He will become your worst nightmare. Don’t spend years trying to convince yourself that he’s the one, despite what your gut is telling you. You’re wasting your precious time and I guarantee one day you will regret that.

10 tips for dealing with creeps:

If he chews with his mouth open and has horrible manners, he will be sloppy in bed. No thanks.

If he makes you feel like shit about yourself, he’s a creep. You don’t need or deserve that.

If his shoes have Velcro straps or are dirty, ditch him. He may not be a creep but he will be an embarrassment when he meets your friends.

When he asks for a nudie (tits or ass) he’s a creep. Nice guys don’t do that. You’re not special to him and this is obvious. Block his ass.

Men who are mean or rude to servers are creeps. He’ll be talking to you like that in a few months so run like hell.

Needy men who are clingy, insecure, and jealous are unpredictable. You’ll spend the rest of your life trying to make him feel ok about himself and this will destroy your spirit. Leave and don’t look back.

Arrogant cocky men are usually less endowed than other men. Don’t waste your time.

If he’s a momma’s boy you will never be the most important women in his life. Meet his mama first then decide.

Love shouldn’t hurt so if he hurts you in any way, he’s a creep. Seek help immediately, you need to learn your worth.

If he wants to sleep with other women, while he’s seeing you, he’s a creep. Tell him to kiss your ass goodbye.

Every woman has a gut that recognizes bad behaviors and red flags. Most times we ignore it even when it burns a hole in our soul. My advice, trust yourself. Love yourself enough to realize that you are in charge of your happiness. When you identify what you really want in a relationship and what you expect from a man, you will find him and he won’t be a creep. In the meantime, have fun, enjoy the ride, and don’t give creeps a chance.